Hard Liquor, Soft Holes

now and forever

2012-02-01T21:23:00.000-05:00

never forget how a vintage OPP metal plated hat can change a standard business casual outfit.

+J Uniqlo jacket / +J shirt / Dries tie/ uniqlo pants / Dior shoes / dollar store hat

half-luxurious

2011-12-19T09:23:00.000-05:00

i have been DYING for the single fur lapels from Dries van Noten Fall 2011 since i first saw them. so much so that someone from Boogerdorf Goodman was TASKED with calling me as soon as the button-in DETACHABLE fur lapel featured in their catalog came in, but NEVER DID (that's ok, i FORGIVE you with all my heart). so it was MUCH to my delight that i was in bergdorf a couple weeks ago and saw one lonely button-in fur lapel (and on sale!), just when i decided to blow a bunch of money on useless things that i thought might build me up in the esteem of others (spoiler alert: it won't!).

so it was that i obtained this very important (not important at all) objet. i then went to work sewing buttons into all my coats, first and foremost my Balenciaga overcoat.

balenciaga coat / dries button-in fur lapel / rag & bone turtleneck / marc jacobs mittens / nikes

with the neon nikes, i look like such 90s german-by-way-of-russia eurotrash, i can't even take it. i just want to rub my euro uncut weiner all over my lapel like all of the time now!

hypnotized by the whirl

2011-12-10T11:43:00.001-05:00

i like to treat myself a lot. if i have a bad day, i'll buy myself something to cheer myself up. if i have a great day, i'll buy myself something to reward myself. if i have a mediocre day, i'll buy myself something so that the day will have something of note happening. basically, what i'm saying is that i'm an american with no impulse control, i.e. an american.

my most recent reward for myself was this weird twisty lanvin sweater that i'd been eyeing at bergdorf since september. it went on sale and i decided that i would find an excuse to buy it.

lanvin sweater / jil jacket / jeans / marc jacobs fur gloves / nike frees

as an early xmas present (which i probably should have saved to wear out until xmas, but WHATEVS), my parents bought me these neon nikes which i'm pretty into. together with the weird femme-y twisty drape of the lanvin sweater, i'm feeling a bit bjork-ish circa her reebok pumps phase. if that means i can be fucking matthew barney in 5-10 years, i'm all for this chain of events.

meat stretcher

2011-12-03T15:48:00.003-05:00

i think this is going to be another year when there is no fall, so i have to be prepared to figure out a way to stretch a couple more months out of my balenciaga jacket. you know, like adding breadcrumbs to a really expensive designer ground chuck. right now, this means layering another light jacket (here a jean jacket, elsewhere a cobalt blue puffer) underneath mostly b/c the jacket looks really stupid zipped up (TRUE CONFESSION).

balenciaga leather / vintage wrangler jean jacket / club monaco sweats

and for a detail of my new favorite t-shirt:

ebay'd michael keaton batman t-shirt

this is a totally normal thing to wear to the gym to totally obliterate my delts, right? ps. all i want for christmas is a gift certificate for ab sculpting surgery. THX.

dries van noten x eileen fischer

2011-10-26T10:07:00.001-04:00

i think i told you guys that i went a little bit crazy on the Dries spring collection. so crazy, in fact, that i bought the cardigan version of the crewneck sweater i already owned b/c it had a cheap leather belt that i thought somehow warranted enough difference to distinguish it.

dries cardigan / +J shirt / j.crew tie / uniqlo pants / jil sander bluchers

i bought it and somehow didn't realize how long it was. it made me feel a bit like a soccer mom so i haven't worn it very much. but i finally figured out that if i tuck it into my waistband in the back, it doesn't nearly look so The Limited circa 2000-2008. also, if i pair it with hypermasculine drag (shirt, tie, plain brown bluchers that i got at the Jil sale for $100), it takes on a completely different look than if i was wearing it over lululemon yoga sweats (namaste.). it's actually starting to become one of my favorite sweaters. i'm pretty into the semi-seditionaries torn sweater details. it subverts the heritage-y color scheme of tan leather and navy wool so i look (a little) less like a tool (probably not).

so i guess the moral of the story is that i shouldn't dismiss mom clothes so readily? i think i'll start shopping at J. Jill and wearing more turquoise jewelry. namaste.

Jackie, Shelley, Yosemite

2011-10-17T10:07:00.003-04:00

in the grand tradition of me taking minor gay icons, e.g. JB Fletcher, with me on vacation, i took a couple of my favorite ladies to Yosemite and Big Sur with me, namely Aunt Jackie and Shelley Duvall.

they loved it. except Shelley, who was mortally terrified.

the ultimate

2011-09-12T10:53:00.006-04:00

this picture is basically the ultimate expression of how i like to dress.

vintage 80's X-Men/New Mutants pins on a digital looking wool Raf Simons for Jil Sander suit. to be worn with white shirt and a primary colored tie and plain toe bluchers with a vintage black leather helmut lang portfolio. it mixes high design with nostalgic low culture that provides personal emotional resonance. it gets right at the aesthetic tension i have with looking AMAZING in corporate drag with my desire to subvert that executive realness with humor and kitsch. the vignettes of over-exaggerated comic book physical aggression paired within the staidness of a gray wool suit.

i just got these buttons in the mail from Etsy today, but i'm pretty psyched on clustering all of them on some "design-y" pieces i have that i think take themselves too seriously. or maybe pinning one of them to my Want les Essentials de la Vie cotton briefcase. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!!

just remember that you've been told

2011-09-10T16:41:00.003-04:00

important observation:

Balenciaga Resort 2012 film

vs.

A Different World non-Lisa Bonet/Marisa Tomei opening

i like to imagine Whitley Gilbert featured prominently on Nicolas' inspiration board.

kennebunkport realness

2011-09-03T22:23:00.001-04:00

i am visiting my sisters and niece up east so i decided to dress like a white person (it only seemed natural). we went peach picking and hit up some tag sales.

gap dip dye shirt / patrik ervell cutoffs / sambas / thrift sunglasses

and as much as i make fun of heritage bloggers as the retarded circle jerk boys' club bane of my existence and blame them for the fetishization and further enshrinement of a ridiculous nostalgia for a time when white male privilege was even more rampant, unchecked, and harmful than it is today, even i cannot pass up a vintage leather suitcase for $8 (marked down from $10).

i will probably just use it to hold all of my 70s 80s era bareback interracial gay pornography, just as a way to recontextualize it. other ideas?

you're a symphony man with one fucking note

2011-09-01T11:21:00.002-04:00

somehow i had forgotten about this song, my favorite elliott smith song in high school.

and when i grew up i became a freak.

fresh slices

2011-08-14T22:40:00.004-04:00

i've been shopping at thrift stores since i was in middle school, and this was back in the days when you could still find classic ringer t-shirts and shit and everyone was into that 90s-70s shit (ps. i just read that NYT magazine article on nostalgia where they were saying no one in the 90s had nostalgia and i'd just like to point out the RELENTLESS nostalgia for 70s pop culture, i mean, DUH, they did a whole record of indie rock covers of school house rock jams), so i've amassed a huge gaping maw of a collection of vintage t-shirts.

but for a while, i was really post-t-shirt. i was more into no-logo'd, anonymous clothing and the ironic t-shirt was JUST SO VERY. but a t-shirt doesn't have to be ironic if you truly truly love the subject matter with all of your heart. and so it is that i have been on an insane ebay jag, picking up t-shirts for things i truly, truly love. like peter savile designed new order imagery, the new mutants (i bought ANOTHER one), Miss Diana Ross, and moto-cross (ok, maybe this one is slightly ironic).

these new additions fit in really nicely with other t-shirts i've recently pulled from the vault, like my prized balenciaga scuba collection t-shirt (for which i paid $20 at the end of the season) and my vintage proto-Givenchy golden retriever t-shirt. the only thing i've been wanting to wear lately is a simple uniform of a nice fitting t-shirt and pleated shorts, which is maybe why i haven't felt so inspiring as to post in a while. but HERE YOU GO!! take what you can get out of me. (i was planning to do this post even before i saw jane's, but we are on TWIN VIBEZ CUZ YOU ARE MY HEART, GHURL).

now, to find a good condition Designing Women t-shirt, and i can retire on the satisfaction dividends of my 401Gay.

i like my shorts short and my face in a bow

2011-08-01T09:48:00.005-04:00

so i don't get to take a real vacation this summer, but i had already bought some marc by marc jacobs tiny swim shorts so i use every chance i get to get as wet as possible. that includes swimming in scummy ponds and running through sprinklers with my niece.

they have zippers that go ALL THE WAY UP THE SIDE. it's like seditionaries does trackpant swim trunks in Provincetown (the tiny pocket is for individual-serve packs of lube and bottleso f poppers). pretty into them.

one day, i will go on real vacation and get to relax for once in my life. until then, i'll settle for hanging out with my niece in my slutty swim trunks whenever possible.

popping up like weeds

2011-07-21T09:45:00.003-04:00

i know you guys are pretty sick of this jil sander shirt by now, but I DUN CURR. when i pay full price for something, i wear that shit into the ground.

jil sander shirt / mr. s leather harness / ervell shorts / happy socks / jil shoes

i went out to see my friend mike dj in the meatpacking district on friday night. have you guys ever been there on a friday? it is like (and i know this is not the most original thought in the world) the most disgusting thrillist-subscribed-bro-striped-shirt-banker / Emory-alumni-comes-to-the-city-to-be-a-Carrie-and-work-in-PR amusement park ever. it smelled like Zara everywhere we went. there were so many aldo heels stuck between the cobblestones, it was out of control.

the view was pretty amazing, though, and chrissy and i had a super good time dancing to the vibez mike was putting out:

ANYWAYZ, i decided it'd be a good idea to pair the soft with the hard, the floral with the black leather. it has a kind of 80s japanese lederhosen vibe / S&M boyscout, no?

hello Chanel!

2011-07-18T11:03:00.000-04:00

i won't apologize any more for not ever updating this blog and i definitely won't apologize to anyone who saw a flash of my gorgeous areola when i was wearing this fake Chanel t-shirt i turned into a slutty homo tank this weekend.

thrift Chanel t-shirt / thrift camp shorts / eleven objects citrus yellow collar / sambas

GET USED TO IT.

love y'all!!!!

ps. i started personal training a couple weeks ago so all i ever want to talk about is protein powder shakes (cold brewed iced coffee + chocolate muscle milk powder = my FOREVER JAM) and scapulary contraction. this may also account for my renewed interested in wearing inappropriately revealing clothing. just wait it out, i'm sure it'll fade.

i've been put on this earth to spread the very femme word of jesus

2011-07-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

sometimes the sudden convergence of post-long weekend misery, the constraints of business casual attire, and obscene heat-based delirium causes one to make very rash decisions in the morning. today it made me come to work dressed like a faggy missionary.

uniqlo shirt and pants / dries van noten tie / divine inspiration by jesus christ x holy ghost for God Almighty

not pictured: bedazzled bible, lucite anal bead-cum-rosary.

note the tiny crosses in my new favorite dries tie. i really thought this one out. (i didn't).

i just can't get enough shopahol

2011-06-30T13:57:00.004-04:00

so i've had a pretty rough couple weeks at work, and i've been salving my wounds by purchasing things i don't need. like going to bergdorf's at lunch today and getting this dries van noten windowpane tie to go with my dries van noten windowpane shirt (also bought a t-shirt by the row that kinda fits perfectly?). at this point, bergdorf's should just send me e-mail alerts whenever any graphic dries comes into the store.

i think i may need someone to recommend me an effective recovery program. but LOOK HOW PRETTY!!!!!!!!

this blog is about FASHION

2011-06-17T09:51:00.000-04:00

small time sensuality

2011-06-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

a moment of weakness overtook me while i was in the office at work on saturday and i went to bergdorf's and ransacked the Dries van Noten section. i basically bought everything that fit me because it was 40% off and i work hard as a busy working mom on the go and i deserve something nice for ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE (ok, not quite true as i buy myself anything i want as soon as i see it, BUT STILL)!

so here are two things that i'm very excited to wear into the ground, both on the more demure side of slutty.

(1) dries-through shirt: i'm a HUGE fan of see-through shirts. i have a dries one i bought at the warehouse sale a while back and i wore the fuck out of it last summer. this seemed like a natural progression of my foreverlove of dries windowpaning, and the slutty freedom of partially visible nipples:

dries windowpane shirt / cut-off patrik ervell shorts / sambas

plus, it kinda makes my pecs look amazing, no? (sidenote: i started personal training and i bought a tub of protein powder. WHO THE FUCK AM I?)

(2) this dries van noten does Seditionaries-prep sweater: they say that the shoulder is the #1 erogenous zone on guys right after the dick head, the dick shaft, the balls, the taint, the prostate. well, i'm sure someone says that.

dries slutty shoulder sweater / acne x lanvin shorts / h&m fake jil sander bag / sambas

i also bought a bunch of other stuff that i'll show off on my haul vlog, JKS JKS JKS!!!

floral double

2011-05-30T11:02:00.000-04:00

so my baby sister just graduated from grad school and now has a title and everything! i'm so proud of her and all her hard work and i'm so glad that she had an amazing graduation, particularly because it let me wear my jil sander shirt all day the other day (LOOK, I'M EVEN SELFISH WHEN I'M BEING CONGRATULATORY, SORRY, OK?).

we walked around early in the day taking photos around the city so i wore my shortest, sluttiest, formal shorts:

cut-off patrik ervell shorts / jil sander floral shirt / acne x tretorn mesh sneakers

then it was time for the ceremony and i put it under a suit:

jil sander suit / jil sander shoes

congratulations, lil' c! you did a great job and all your hard work paid off. YOU ARE AN ADULT NOW! and i'll miss you when you move away.

BUT WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE OUR MEMORIES:

ps. can you tell that the posing thing runs in the family?

spokesribbon

2011-05-25T08:42:00.005-04:00

VERY exciting news, you guys. my good friends chrissy and linh thi of eleven objects (i dunno, you may have read about them in the NEW YORK FUCKIN' TIMES) kindly asked me to be the face (behind the ribbon) of their new men's resort line.

i'm so fucking psyched on this guys. it is such an HONOR!!! here are some outtakes from the shoot adam and i did. i call it mintzing fairy realness (fakeness).

shooting was super fun, mostly because I LOVE SPENDING TIME IN PARK BATHROOMS!!!

EDITED TO ADD: just realized that this is totally me giving Barbizon realness. DUH.

absence makes things happen or something

2011-05-22T12:31:00.003-04:00

i have to apologize for the neglect, but work has been a real BEAR lately (woof?) and i haven't really been dressing very interestingly. i'm in one of those kinda basic phases where all i want to wear is unchallenging clothes that fit properly and don't require a lot of thinking. i've been mostly wearing a bunch of tight fred perry polos and uninteresting bottoms (the WORST KIND OF BOTTOM!).

the only other interesting thing that's happened to me is that i've hired a personal trainer so that i can finally attain my childhood dreaming of looking like a sexually aggressive cologne bottle.

watch out. shirtless pictures may be coming. j/k. BARF. or am i?

together forever in love

2011-05-03T10:12:00.002-04:00

flea market jeans / gap t-shirt / dries van noten shoes / thrift pea coat

so i have some VERY exciting news, guys. one of my favorite short-lived indie pop bands of all time, go sailor, is playing a reunion show in new york this month. in celebration, i've decided to dress like a 90's sailor for the rest of the month. also, i'm going to the show and i'm going to scream to every song and rose melberg is going to see me in the audience and fall in love with me. we're registered on etsy.com.

and, for your time, the reunited go sailor playing at the slumberland anniversary show last year. laaaaaaa-aaaa-aaaaasstt year.

fall into a new love, maybe perfect love by chance

2011-04-20T12:29:00.001-04:00

if there's one thing i love, it's mall stores. considering i spent most of my formative youth walking around the mall with my friends eating panda express and wishing my skin was good enough to work at aveda (spoiler alert: IT WASN'T), it totally makes sense that this passion should endure into the beginning of middle age.

so it is that i periodically revisit the mall stores of my youth in hopes of finding things adult-me will like. one important benefit is that "cool" people tend not to shop in mall stores so it's counter-intuitively easier to find things other people won't have/recognize (i can spot an APC sweater from 95 paces, but club monaco cashmere is somehow anonymous?). you know how much i hate cool shit. which is why i was into j.crew way before all this over-collaborated, over-curated shit. for a while it was a really great place to get fake steven alan shirts cut slimmer than most on the cheap. now it's just another snoringly reliable cog in the infernally boring machine called "Heritage."

seriously, i do not need an artisan jockstrap made from repurposed sailing tarp used by the Harvard yacht club in 1935.

anywho, so it was that i was trolling the Gap's website and noticed this amazing dip dyed shirt and also this fantasticly agnes b. patterned shirt. i will always have a softspot for the Gap, as they gave me my first job selling overpriced baby clothing to rich suburban soccer moms. i was literally the best seller of cashmere warm-up suits and baby leather pants that you've ever seen. i always secretly root for them and hope that they will pull some amazing shit out of the bag.

anyhow, when i saw those two shirts i patiently waited for a 30% off coupon and ordered the shit out of them.

they're pretty fucking good, actually. i mean, they don't feel as good as a CdG or anything, but coming in at $35 for each, i don't really give a shit.

one note about sizing, though. i ordered XS's in both. the dip dye oxford is fine (probably about a j.crew size S), but the printed shirt is TIGHHHHTTTT. like a lot tighter than i anticipated. it's actually a true story XS. i think i'm going to trade up to a S.

ps. for good measure, i'll post my very favorite gap commercial of all time AGAIN:

Meghan Collison, Meghan Collison

2011-04-15T09:42:00.004-04:00

meghan collison's new hair and general look of numbness is striking some major Louise Lasser in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman realness.

vs.

i mean, this is kinda everything.

ps. if you don't know, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman was this AMAZING absurdist no laugh track sitcom soap opera from the 70s. see clip below.

pps. how Carven is Louise Lasser's wardrobe?

suspension

2011-04-12T10:24:00.005-04:00

i'm pretty into how high i can hitch up my pants with these $15 leather suspenders i bought on ebay.

steven alan shirt / uniqlo pants / ebay suspenders / jil sander shoes / uniqlo socks

it doesn't matter if my balls are completely crushed by wool gabardine. it gives my non-existant ass the lift and artificial definition it needs to go about its day.

i call this look: jebediah goes to a mergers and acquisitions meeting at the Eagle. pretty good, right?

ps. that's not a penis, it's a blackberry askew.

my dolo is shy

2011-04-05T13:29:00.003-04:00

my desperate need for a new wallet perfectly coincided with ln-cc making international shipping free. i spotted a perfect dries van noten wallet with an adorable ribbon detailing and i knew it was cosmically ordained that it should be mine. (i'm fairly sure that the fates concern themselves with ways i can spend money).

look how adorable the packaging from LN-CC is! they included a little friendship bracelet!

and the subtle faux bois on the dries box:

look how adorable the ribbon is and how cute abe looks playing peekaboo:

don't be so bashful, abe.

spring fling

2011-04-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

this weekend was pretty glorious, even though it didn't get about 60 degrees. whatever, at this point, i'll take what i can get. earlier this winter i was all bragging that i don't get SAD in the winter anymore, but this shit is DRAINNNNNNINNGGGGGG.

we went to gramercy tavern to try out the spring tasting menu so i decided to wear a whole bunch of oversized faggoty flowers plastered to my chest and shoulder (I'M SUCH A CARRIE!)

jil sander shirt / uniqlo pants / jil sander shoes / queer-flamingo-pose

as you can see, i decided on a combination of the blue flowered t-shirt and the red flowered shirt shirt. i'm so insanely crazy about the jil sander spring 2011 collection. i bought the shoes with the pink bottoms but returned them b/c i thought it was a little too Hot Topic/Gwen Stefani realness. but this is probably the first season i've actually gone out and bought something at full price and not waited for sales in a long ass time AND I STILL WANT TO BUY MORE OF IT. i think this is a problem.

god, i can't wait to wear for slutty clothes weather to start. my testicles have felt cooped up for like 7 months and they're yearning to break free.

sidenote: i was expecting like a MAYJOR revamp of the menu from winter to spring but i guess it's too early in the season because it was basically the same menu i had in december? PRETTY DISAPPOINTING. #whitepeopleproblems

does this count as a blog post?

2011-03-31T22:54:00.001-04:00

TUXEDOTIME feat. SPECIAL GUEST

2011-03-25T12:29:00.000-04:00

in the great tradition of past tuxedotimes, it's that time of year that i get to dress up and go to fancydinnertime. this year, i'm lucky enough to have an insane jeweled collar to add to the festivities.

off-the-rack customized tuxedo / J+ tuxedo shirt / eleven objects collar / dollar store OPP hat / dries van noten shoes

(this is really just an excuse to post a really really good picture of me and to rep my ladies, eleven objects. I REP THEM SO HARD AND I AM SO VAIN.)

what's the DEAL with functioning testicles?

2011-03-24T11:37:00.004-04:00

i've been REALLY REALLY into these seinfeld-wash jeans i bought at the flea market last summer. the guy who was selling them looked like a former west village early 90s homo, the kind who would wear these jeans with an original ACT UP t-shirt and maybe one tiny hoop earring and would listen to house music and the talking heads, an archetype that would be lampooned on the kids in the hall Steps sketch (AKA MY HOMO TIME CAPSULE IDEAL).

flea market jeans / raf simons x fred perry net polo / acne oversized sweater

happy socks / thrift brogues / tiny hat

they're DIY tailored pretty narrow and short and patched up in the crotch so i know that dude got a lot of use out of them. they're also the tightest jeans i own (not skinniest, but tightest, like ball-crushingly tight) and kinda uncomfortable to wear, but i love them? they even give me, the assless wonder, a little bit of LIFT AND SEPARATION. and i LIKE THAT.

but most importantly, i like the wash. it feels so much fresher than dark denim right now. it's a wash that my friends at court like to call the "babysitter wash" which is so perfect.

i'm thinking i'm gonna really go for it for west village gay 90s for spring/summer 2011. i have so many billow-y t-shirts and tight polos to wear with these + the tiny little hat. been looking for vintage gay pride t-shirts on ebay, too. if you see one let me know!

ps. in case you didn't know, STEPS WAS A REAL PLACE!!

pps. elaine is the best.

weather changes mood

2011-03-17T15:53:00.008-04:00

i am usually VERY good at waiting until things go at least 60% off before buying something, but i REALLY REALLY REALLY need a giant oversized jil sander flower plastered to my chest. like i think i'm going to go to jil sander this weekend.

but do i get the button down?

or the t-shirt?

on the one hand, i think i would wear the t-shirt more. on the other hand, i think i like the idea of a slightly more formal floral shirt. I AM SO NATALIE IMBRUGLIA TORN RIGHT NOW!!

thoughts?

EDIT: i should add that i'm drawn to the blue flower (seems more peter saville to me?)

airing it out

2011-03-14T11:50:00.003-04:00

i think it'll tell you something about how i was raised that when my sisters came into town this weekend, we went to the gay bar and four out of four siblings were booty-popping to earth, wind, & fire.

and when we fag out, we FAGGGGGG OUTTTTT:

i got that really slutty polo from the fred perry sample sale. as if being ridiculously tight wasn't bad enough, the sleeves are fishnet (cuz aerodynamics is v. important in da club).

as a bonus from my sisters' visit, here's a picture of my adorable niece wearing my balenciaga jacket:

every weekend should be this fun.

the difference a day makes

2011-03-12T17:31:00.001-05:00

even in my buttoned up corporate job, i don't often have to wear a suit. but i had a big meeting on thursday and got to put on my business drag.

jil sander suit / uniqlo shirt / vintage yves saint laurent rep tie / jil shoes

but the next day was friday and the first warm day we had in a long time so i decided to fuck the dress code and wear jeans and sneakers to work (DON'T WORRY, I KEEP WORKSLACKS AND DIOR HOMME DRESS SHOES IN MY OFFICE BEHIND SOME GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY). plus i never get to wear this lanvin jacket ever and i think that's a shame.

uniqlo jeans / j. crew shirt / lanvin trench / sambas

see? i can go from zero to faggot in 24 hours (even less if i have advance notice). i'm just that special.

ps. check the elastic detail on the back on the trench. when i walk, it makes the jacket blow like i'm constantly in the matrix. i know kung fu (thanks to chrissy for the reminder).

all i want to do is wear slutty clothes all the time

2011-03-05T12:49:00.000-05:00

i think this means i'm finally becoming a woman.

ebay skank tank / thrift yellow short shortss / ebay leather easy-access shorts / old navy trunks / happy socks

come on, springtime. stick it in me.

baby, i wish i was dead

2011-03-01T18:45:00.004-05:00

hope sandoval was really the proto-norah jones (indeterminately ethnically beautiful, amazing voice, perfectly of her time, SO SO SLEEPY!):

god, that picture is so perfect.

anyways, here's mazzy star performing one of my fave songs that jenny put on a mixtape for me way way back when, with hope sandoval looking so of-the-90s, it's almost a cliche:

the every day

2011-02-28T10:13:00.002-05:00

someone asked me what i wear everyday in my normal work life, because, yes, it's hard to imagine a busy career woman-on-the-go like me wearing balenciaga mongolian lamb bomber jackets and luxury jewelry collars dripping in swarovski crystals and butter knives to work, i'm sure.

to be honest, i'm a pretty boring every day dresser. mostly uniqlo basics + the occasional vintage/designer piece mixed in to give myself that satisfying feeling of superiority over other people on my morning commute. since i'm such a jacket fiend (my light coat collection is devastating), lately i've taken to layering up on some of my lighter jackets i only get to wear in the spring/fall to get more use out of them.

dries van noten blazer / theory puffer jacket / jil shoes / WANT bag / marc jacobs fur gloves / uniqlo uniqlo uniqlo

thrift peacoat / vintage wrangler jean jacket / uniqlo uniqlo uniqlo / jil sander shoes

see? i can be a basic bitch, too. i'm VERSATILE that way. (j/k, total dom top here).

pretty boring, i know. but sometimes you have to pretend to have no personality in order to afford to buy things that will outwardly fool people into thinking you have a personality on the weekends. that last sentence should go in bartlett's.

ps. bet you didn't know i lived in a Hoarders-style hovel!!

i missed my kid's little league games and now he listens to evanessence

2011-02-25T11:10:00.003-05:00

i haven't really left my office in the last week, so there's nothing interesting to note. so i'll leave you with pictures from (of) my cell.

(new happy socks from Gilt)

i'll be interesting again soon, i promise. and i'll be at your ballet recital for sure.

ps. i bought that stuffed hawk on ebay for my aaliyah costume last year but i decided against it (too soon!!).

The State that I am In

2011-02-16T11:41:00.005-05:00

He decided that he should follow every arrow he saw (mostly on street signs, sometimes spray painted on the sidewalk) until he saw another one, like some kind of Yoko Ono Fluxus piece, until he was as far away from where he was supposed to be as he could get, though he had a suspicion that the universe of arrows would conspire to lead him right back to his office. This suspicion (that his fate was such that he should continue to lead an anonymous existence of misery for the rest of his life) was what held him back from Eat[-ing], Pray[-ing], Love[-ing], like every other privileged white collar drone turned urban farmer/yogi/cheesemaker he had read about in the New York Times magazine for the last 35 years.

This suspicion, together with an inherent disdain for outwardly narcissistic bourgeois pigs following their bliss and his belief (that, for some reason, he attributed to his Catholic upbringing) that things that are hard (e.g. advanced degrees in the sciences, law, or medicine; jobs with 401ks) were more noble than things that are easy (e.g. anything that makes you happy), led him to conclude that everyone was meant to be miserable, as a baseline state of being, and that he should do as little as possible to rock the boat. Who was he to question universal equilibrium?

Then along came Polly.

balenciaga leather jacket / thrift cable knit sweater / +J uniqlo khakis

eleven objects

2011-02-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

one of my favorite people on earth, chrissy rhee, just started a AMAZING accessories line with her friend linh thi, called eleven objects. and for my birthday they were kind enough to give me one of their amazing collars which i wore to the prabal show on saturday.

eleven objects collar / APC denim shirt / jil sander leather jacket / DIY sleeveless adolfo jacket

the detail work on this is AMAZING. the material is metallic threaded and it's just SWAMPED with this insane hardware (roses, wind-up keys, tiny scissors, fortune cookies) and swarovski crystals. people were FLIPPING OUT over it. like street snappers at lincoln center SWARMED and multiple strangers on the train approached me to ask me about it, which is awesome cuz YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE (male) ATTENTION.

i'm so psyched for them. go check them out!!

prabal fall 2011

2011-02-13T10:32:00.005-05:00

i was lucky enough to get invited to the prabal gurung fall '11 show. ever since his debut presentation a couple seasons ago, he's been one of the few designers i don't automatically skip when skimming through fashion week slideshows. so i was psyched to actually get to see the clothes in person.

the wooly nubby sweater dressing was SO good and liu wen rocked the shit out of these dresses. the texture contrasts were fantastically done without hitting you over the top with "HARD/SOFT" dichotomies. while it was mostly a flowy situation, there was always an element of restraint that kept everything in check.

unfortunately, my own pictures of the show turned out like pooh:

but luckily my picture of hilary alexandar getting interviewed 3 rows in front of me turned out!

WERK at that russian aristoCAT look.

ALSO: was sitting a couple rows behind le ALT (the french one, not the black one) and was sitting next to some junior members (i think) of the french vogue team. one of them was texting someone "Emanuelle is currently REALLY into ____" which i couldn't make out because i was already being SUPER CREEPER STATUS spying on someone's text message. also, spotted every editor ever (tim blank in the 2nd row for some reason?).

FOREVER THANK YOUS to tyler and danielle at prabal! heart you both with a hard-on that may never stop.

the new karlie kloss

2011-02-11T09:11:00.002-05:00

i was inspired to make a gif this morning. please enjoy.

my own private

2011-02-09T02:55:00.003-05:00

i don't usually have very many detail shots of my outfits because i don't have my own personal photographer following me around with an SLR and i feel weird asking people to take photos of my outfits. but when i'm traveling with someone, i have no problem forcing them to take whatever ridiculous pictures i want, because, y'know, MEMORIES!

so when zach and i visited the wigsphere, nee sunsphere, i was able to force him take ridiculous photos of me and i noticed that they are a lot better lit for details than my usual blurry mirror shots, meaning you can finally see the tiny little hat that i'm always wearing. also: i've taken to wearing 2(x)ist wifebeaters, DON'T JUDGE ME.

jil sander leather / thrift trench / 2(x)ist tank / tiny hat

the sunsphere looking ominous in the background:

in addition, i was able to conscript zach into taking ridiculous pictures of me in a pretentious art space that looks like a rejected location from the covershoot of "upstairs at eric's."

this is all just to say that, obviously, i love pictures of myself because i'm VAIIIINNNNNNNN.

ps. the exhibit we saw at the art space was actually pretty good. it featured this kinda brilliant dance piece set in ultra slow motion that i'm pretty smitten with:

oh, you!

2011-02-07T20:09:00.002-05:00

there is nothing i love better than european people's old crap:

god, you're all such weirdos. and slightly racist? <3 you.

how will you make it on your own?

2011-02-06T18:23:00.003-05:00

hi guys! sorry no posts for a while but i'm abroad right now. please enjoy my trying to recreate the opening for the mary tyler moore show.

i'll be back posting soon. this blog might just make it after all!

bound

2011-01-31T09:57:00.004-05:00

my good friend bec brittain (who i've known, BTW, since i was a wee underage thing sneaking whiskey in a 12 oz coke bottle into Lit on Tuesday nights back in the summer of 2001?) invited me over for summer cocktails this weekend (drinking out of a coconut makes life a little more bearable) and i spotted some of the new stuff she's working on. let me just say, this shit is RIDICULOUS.

she handcrafts her own LEATHER ROPE then constructs knotted harnesses and necklaces with this amazing, amazing, CUMMAZING hardware. it's so vintage helmut lang meets marquis de sade meets luxe sailor, i can't even.

the lovely mrs. brittain:

some detail shots:

and one more necklace:

ugh, SO GOOD. more images on her website here. you can get them at Assembly or the Future Perfect in williamsburg. i guarantee you that i'm going to commission the fuck out of her to make me something amazing. this goes so well with my leather daddy stevedore look, i can't even.

i'm going to be her number one cheerleader right now, i have to say. i want to be seeing this shit EVERYWHERE. if you have any questions about them, just ask and i'll pass them along. yay!!!

POSSESSED

2011-01-28T17:16:00.008-05:00

OBSESSED with isabelle adjani right now, not the least because she used to bang daniel day lewis.

this music video is AMAZING, would do caps of it if i had it in high res:

and i will do everything in my power to see Possession:

ugh, i love a brunette with a dead-ahead stare and blank conviction or the other way around.

oh, and just for good measure, this vid gives me such a boner:

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

retarded by a visual world

2011-01-26T19:13:00.008-05:00

you know those formative records you listened to so much in high school that the tapes you recorded them onto (themselves recorded from your older sister's tapes) started to warp down and crackle? the ones where you had to make a sophie's choice of which song off the record you would put on the mixtape (because you had to have at least one song from the record on every mixtape you made)? the ones you wrote the lyrics to on every single piece of paper you could find? well for me, this is one of them: louis barlow's acoustic sentridoh's "winning losers" EP

his ode to furtive, adolescent masturbation ("high school") was a particular favorite. i always liked acoustic lou barlow a tiny bit better than electric sebadoh, i don't know why (hint: FAGGGGGG). but boy am i psyched that they're doing a bakesale/harmacy quasi-reunion tour!

what're yours? (INTERACTIVE!!)

WOOF

2011-01-24T15:28:00.003-05:00

now that it's official that f/w 2011 is the season of the dog, i was just about to shuttle along to ebay to find a t-shirt with a big, slobbering dog face on it (because i am a trend-following WHORE with little to no impulse control) when i remembered that, DUH, i already have one:

(as seen in this OLLLLDDD post of me and elizabeth thrift store shopping)

so i can start wearing it again, i guess? this is why it pays to have a wardrobe archive so large that you forget what's in it. (is what i'm telling myself).

leather sleeves

2011-01-22T16:33:00.007-05:00

after seeing this image from marni f/w 2011, i knew something had to be done, and that something involved going to the thrift store as soon as possible, buying a wool coat, and cutting off the sleeves so i could wear a leather jacket under it. (this is how normal minds work, right?)

so i hauled ass to the thrift store this morning and bought this lovely adolfo coat that happened to be almost exactly the same color as the marni coat?! score. although it was a bit longer (i call this length columbine-length), it had a kind of philip lim does celine vibe that really drew me in.

i quickly set about the task of cutting off the sleeves, which involved turning it inside out and, since i didn't have a seem ripper, using an exacto knife to cut out the stitching. then i pinned down the fabric and stitched it up using the rudimentary stitching skills i learned in 7th grade in home ec.

i ironed and steamed it down after i finished:

and so, a couple hours later, voile!

worn with Jil Sander leather jacket / uniqlo heat tech top / ksubi jeans / sambas

i bought two other coats (a trench and a black car coat) that i plan on doing next. can't wait to try wearing it with my jean jackets as well. so psyched!!

nb: sorry the color looks different in every photo. my photo skills are JANK.

dirge

2011-01-19T12:54:00.003-05:00

been really into my balenciaga funereal overcoat lately. it's so heavy and stiff and SAD. it makes me feel like the flying nun.

balenciaga coat / vtg wrangler jean jacket / uniqlo pants / thrift hiking boots

WANT les essentials de la vie bag / marc jacobs bear gloves / beanie

it will have to hold me over until i get my balenciaga aviator. :(

flowers in the attic

2011-01-17T10:04:00.003-05:00

going back to my parents' house over x-mas, i found a lot of treasures, including a bunch of old collectors' item t-shirts, some old helmut lang jeans i bought at century 21 (from when he was still designing for he label), etc. one thing i had totally forgotten was this vintage le tigre rugby shirt i bought at the thrift store and DIY'd with a floral tableau when i was in college 7 or 8 years ago.

i thought it very peter saville power, corruption, and lies at the time:

but then it started looking very ClichedReworkedVintage.etsy.com so i squirreled it away in a drawer at my parents' house and never thought about it again. when i rediscovered it, it reminded me of a subdued, smaller-scaled, homemade version of the jil sander s/s 2011 graphic flower shirts.

i think i'm kinda into it again and think i might try it with brighter, bigger flowers. should i? or should i just buy the jil one? DECISIONS. like whether or not to fingerbang your little sister when you are trapped in the attic by your evil, conniving grandmother.

triangles for feet

2011-01-12T22:56:00.003-05:00

one of my goals for 2011 is to get ripped. i want to look like a rob liefeld drawing come to life. all muscles, no brains. that's the goal, folks. i'm already halfway there (no brains).

so as inspiration, i'm wearing this vintage deadstock mid 90s x-force t-shirt i got off ebay to the gym.

i've cut out a shitload of carbs (which i had already done, but now i'm a bit more vigilant about it) and started trying to confuse the shit out of my muscles. i'm kind of thinking i should track my progress on here, but no one's interested in weekly shirtless pictures of me (except some pervs i know).

anyways, one day i'll be so powerful, i'll have to wear a helmet on my head to prevent psychic attacks.

time turning rover and rover, time turning four leaf clover

2011-01-11T15:18:00.003-05:00

either nicolas is running out of ideas (which the rest of the pre-fall collection might indicate) or he's feeling nostalgic for his early run at balenciaga:

balenciaga fall 2000:

via styleregistry

pre-fall 2011:

(sidenote: just realizing that i totally did the math wrong on this. DUH.)

i'm pretty meh on the rest of the collection, but i will never NOT love a dog's face knit into an expensive sweater.

amer-eek-a

2011-01-06T15:59:00.004-05:00

the only thing i could think of when i saw these marc jacobs ads and their hideously gaudy oversaturated autumns were the old gap "west side story" ads with all the sateen jean jackets and capris. i remember this vividly because i was working at the gap at the time and people were buying all these ridiculous colors and i remember thinking they were hideous.

and i still do. i can't for the life of me find the actual commercial, so these above stills from a making-of video will have to do.

i mean, that, and the underage prostitutes from taxi driver.

what did you do to deserve this?

2011-01-04T16:43:00.004-05:00

i rang in the new year in my new pet shop boys t-shirt my sister got me for my birthday and by singing so much kate bush (w/chrissy)/"cornflake girl". hope yours was just as great!

aviation nation

2010-12-27T18:33:00.003-05:00

today i was killing some time since i'm stranded outside of new york and i went to one of my favorite boutique's in my parents' hometown. they only sell women's clothes but one time 3 years ago at the end of the season they had all of these balenciaga t-shirts marked down to $25 and my cheapness knows no heteronormative gender boundaries.

ANYWAYS, i was looking around seeing if anything was inexpensive enough for me to look slightly transgendered and i saw this amazing balenciaga shearling jacket. it's still WAY too expensive even after a discount, but the ladies there were so so so nice and said it looked so fantastic (i agree) and even promised to e-mail me if it went on sale further and no one had bought it yet.

i took a picture to commemorate:

this is a remake (i think) of the classic balenciaga a/w 04 jacket from the white bubble dress collection that is one of my FAVORITES of all time, but done in leather in 3 different colors. it's masculine enough where i don't feel like i'm squeezing my broad shoulders into some kind of weird nipped thing. the details on it are AMAZING and the shearling is SO SO SOFT.

i'm pretty smitten. and have been since i saw liu and hanne gaby wearing the classic non-leather version.

i think this may be something i have to buy. it is so beyond, that i can't even deal. plus, i got a bonus for christmas and these kind of ridiculously frivolous items are what bonuses are made for, right? RIGHT?!

thoughts??

merry murder!

2010-12-24T20:36:00.004-05:00

adam and i made christmas cards this year because i'm a 40 year old suburban housewife.

we printed out a picture of her and took her to rockefeller center (a la our vacation photos) in the middle of the season and then sent them to a printer because we love our friends that much. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND BY HAPPY HOLIDAYS I MEAN MERRY CHRISTMAS!

christmas sweater

2010-12-19T19:28:00.003-05:00

reasons i love my friends? they make christmas cookies in the shapes of dudes getting bludgeoned by axes and having tiny cookie boners.

and they made one especially for me in the shape of a chinaman. imagine behind the bow some buckteeth and squintier eyes than usual.

ps. i went to club monacks and bought the perfect fair isle sweater (super fitted, not obnoxiously twee and heritage blogger, pictured above) and for some reason was compelled to buy another pair of expensive skinny sweatpants. i think i should try going to a morphine clinic to combat this addiction. maybe i'm just saying i want some morphine.

"did anyone see tron?" "no." "no." "no." "yes, i mean no."

2010-12-16T20:37:00.003-05:00

i wrote something on the opening ceremony x tron line for videogum. maybe you could read it?

LOVE YOU!!

formica jones

2010-12-12T15:23:00.004-05:00

i finally had an excuse to wear this jil sander marbled blazer i got a while back when gabe had a "black tie optional" holiday party at his house this weekend.

jil blazer / uniqlo shirt / j.crew tie / ksubi jeans / jil shoes / barney's x drake's scarf

i had never worn it out of the house before because it seemed so capital F "Fashun" and it was actually really difficult to find something to wear it with because it has SO MUCH going on. it was described by party guests as variously calling to mind mitochondria, lace, and formica. i dubbed it "home depot couture." but i think it actually ended up looking pretty good. it'll always at least be a collector's item.

anyhow, apropos of nothing:

texture

2010-12-10T12:50:00.005-05:00

i've never been able to/never taken the time to show off the insane texture of this jil sander suit i bought last year.

it's this really intricate almost computerized pattern. i think the weird digital-tweediness looks pretty dope with my favorite nom de guerre space-dyed/worsted baseball cardigan and the pattern of the jil sander tie. it's a really subtle use of pattern that's minimalist but with some interest. minimalism gets a little boring if it's all plain surface and matte/sheen, no?

worn with my fave jil shoes and my new fave apc belt:

winter three ways

2010-12-09T10:20:00.006-05:00

sorry the blog's been so barren, but winter is hard because all i do is go to work and come home and have not really been so inspired. the only outfits i take pictures of are the ones i wear to work.

monday:

barneys x drake scarf / club monaco puffy blazer / uniqlo pants

elsa shoes / johnny farah bag / marc jacobs bear claw gloves

yesterday:

club monaco scarf / balenciaga coat / uniqlo pants / thrift hiking boots

today:

club monaco sweater / thrift shirt / apc belt / uniqlo pants

thrift coat / barneys x drake scarf / want les essentials de la vie bag / marc jacobs bear gloves

i'll be interesting again soon, i promise.

ps. i was thinking about posting a shirtless picture of myself on tumblr to make myself more interesting but then i decided I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GAY DUDE. it is funny how tumblr convinces you that every gay dude on the internet posts shirtless pictures of themselves all the time when i've been around the e-block for a WHILE and know that's not the case.

the winter office

2010-12-06T19:07:00.004-05:00

i don't mind looking like business casual euro trash in the winter.

balenciaga overcoat / club monaco scarf / marc jacobs bear paw gloves

better than looking like a fey civil war era lumberjack. or maybe not.

cannonball

2010-12-02T21:39:00.005-05:00

i don't know how much more blogging juice i can squeeze out of this t-shirt, but whatever I LOVE IT SO MUCH:

PUT YOUR MOUTH AROUND IT, ASSHOLES.

ps. i'm obviously karma (cuz i'm asian and because i used to be intensely obese then got trapped in the asgardian desert and lost a bunch of weight).

pps. i have a new post on videogum if you want to read it. don't worry, no one else has!

pps. i've listened to this song approximately 35 times today. christophe - aline:

wha?

2010-11-30T17:46:00.001-05:00

ok, i started a tumblr.

i know, i don't understand either.

here comes the sweater called cable!

2010-11-26T09:07:00.003-05:00

lately all i've been wanting to wear is cable-knit sweaters. big, giant, oversized cable-knit sweaters. but, me being me, i've been trying to take the vanilla WASP kennebunkport heritage blogger retarded context away from them, so i've been trying to wear them overlyslouchy or with some other kind of edge. basically, i've been trying to wear them WAY GAYER. so...

leather daddy stevedore:

uniqlo sweater / harness / ksubi jeans / thrift trench / sambas

chinese immigrant who only knows about hip-hop through fourth-run 80s american sitcoms.

thrift sweater / thrift missoni coat / uniqlo jeans / sambas / sequined baseball cap

snug as a bug in a drug rug

2010-11-23T14:45:00.003-05:00

hey guys,

guess what? it's finally cool enough for me to break out my baja i bought a couple months back! BAJA WEATHER!!

thrift baja + jacket / 2(x)ist tank (DON'T JUDGE ME) / ksubi jeans / dries shoes / thrift sunglasses

i'm gonna go eat some cool ranch doritos now and play some disc golf round a bonfire. BYEEEEEEEE!!

look, i know how to read, OK?

2010-11-21T21:13:00.005-05:00

so i've been OBSESSING over this book "6+ Antwerp Fashion" on the antwerp 6 that served as a kind of catalog for an exhibit in tokyo. having caught a glimpse of it here and here, i was ready to up and buy the shit out of it, but i could only find it for $700 and up. so i went to the main branch of the library (the one with the lions!) and checked it out, partly to see if that would be sufficient to sate my desperate shoplust to buy it as an early birthday present to myself and partly to see if it was so good that i had to buy it as an early birthday present to myself.

the book was basically PERFECT for someone who LOVES time capsules and archives. tons of newspaper and magazine clippings from the time when the antwerp 6 and their belgian contemporaries were coming out. i spent HOURS reading it. seriously.

anyways, for both of our benefits, i took a shit ton of pictures of the book and here are some of them:

cover:

invitation to the original antwerp 6 show (look how cute Dries, Ann, and Walter are!):

antwerp 6 glamour shots:

dirk van saene:

early demeulemeester and marina yee:

early dries van noten:

DREAMBOAT VAN NOTEN (oops, i returned the book with these pages sticking together):

walter van beirendonck is AMAZING:

early margiela collections:

rare picture of martin margiela:

raf simons a/w 97-98:

bernhard willhelm:

jurgi persoons (MY NEW FAVORITE):

Dries the King:

and if this wasn't enough picture, please enjoy the rest of them in the slideshow below.

where the fuck is magik?!

2010-11-19T16:27:00.007-05:00

ok, i'm pretty STUPIDLY excited by this vintage new mutants t-shirt i won on ebay for a ridiculous amount of money.

the only way i can justify the amount of money i spent on this shirt is: (1) i fucking LOVE the new mutants. like to an incredibly stupid degree, (2) i've NEVER seen a new mutants t-shirt in all my years of searching on ebay/the internet, so it must be pretty rare, right? right?

SO SO SO PSYCHED!! also, some harry nilsson i've been playing over and over and over again since i saw this documentary on him for your friday:

ruffo club

2010-11-19T12:11:00.003-05:00

was reminded how good ruffo research was from this la collectionneuse find. just as a primer, ruffo research was basically a design laboratory arm of an italian (italian?) leather label wherein they gave the creative reigns to up-and-coming designers with hard to spell names including: raf simons, veronique branquinho, sophia kokasaoiseralkseaki, riccardo tisci, and haider ackermann.

i'm having a hard time tracking down any pictures of the raf collection, but the haider stuff from spring 2003 is ON POINT:

also, look at this ADORABLE picture of raf simons when he was just a BABY from 1999 Dutch:

D'AWWWWWWWWWW.

accio glamour!

2010-11-18T14:13:00.001-05:00

hi guys! i have a new post up on videogum about how to look JUST LIKE everybody's favorite teen witch EMMA WATSON. maybe you go check it out? thanks!

in case you doubted how gaytarded i am...

2010-11-15T22:34:00.002-05:00

i cannot tell you how psyched i am for this piece of trash coming out. it is going to be showgirls, pg-13. i hope there is a brutalizing fully clothed sex scene in a kiddy pool.

mean falsetto

2010-11-14T10:32:00.002-05:00

i love chinatown at night.

thrift gap shirt / thrift trench / a77 jeans / sambas

excellent karaoke with friends + spooky streetlight vibes + ciara poses = ideal friday night

la cabina (1972)

2010-11-10T22:22:00.006-05:00

i'm just going to put this weird 35 minute spanish surrealist movie (i won't give away anything) right here for you to watch in your due time. it's great and i don't have much more to say about it, except that, though i know you all (and i) have the attention span of approximately 30 seconds, you should watch it.

everything i talk about i talk about with you

2010-11-05T14:01:00.005-04:00

two things:

(1) i got a pair of solid gold sunglasses at the thrift store and i'm so so so psyched on them.

the lenses are gold, the frames are gold, and they give me the feeling of the mykita x bernhard willhelm sunglasses but without the cheeseball vomitous connotations of being featured in a sex and the city sequel. the shape is classic and perfect.

also, i have great clavicles.

(2) this weekend i'm going to see GUIDED BY FUCKIN' VOICES so in celebration here are a bunch of fantastic gbv/bob pollard songs.

as we go up, we go down

game of pricks

echos myron

unleashed! the large-hearted boy

people are leaving

so so so psyched!! it's my teenboy dream come true!!

mr. andrea zuckerman

2010-11-05T10:08:00.003-04:00

hi guys! i have a new post up on videogum about how to get the hautest looks from 90210!! please have a look-see.

nb: my first e-mail address, true story, was mrandreazuckerman@hotmail.com

all hollow's woof

2010-10-31T16:57:00.004-04:00

halloween is basically the only holiday that matters. i say this probably because i'm so good at it.

two years ago, i went as a gloryhole:

last year, i went as your first accidental orgasm:

this year, i went as...

a leather daddy ghost. i figured i'd make use of my harness since it's my new favorite successory.

so, what were you guys? how was your halloween????

hitch 'em up.

2010-10-29T10:26:00.005-04:00

i'm taking adam out for his birthday tonight and we're going to Daniel. jackets are required. now, i have no shortage of jackets but you know i relish in the opportunity to wear a full suit.

i thought i had a problem with this jil sander suit because the pants hit me at a funny spot. funny for me, at least, because i generally wear my pants pretty low (it's the "left eye" lopez in me). but rather than pulling up the pants and hiding the waist with my sweater, i thought i'd just put it all out there by tucking my shirt and sweater in and slapping a faggy belt on it.

jil sander suit + sweater / +J uniqlo shirt / apc belt / dries van noten shoes / vintage helmut lang briefcase

the belt is a new purchase (pre-my shopping moratorium. did i tell you guys i actually gave myself a clothing budget this year? I'LL BE A RECESSIONISTA, YET!!!!!!!!!) from APC. i haven't really liked anything from APC in a while, but this double layer fat/skinny belt is on-point.

the half-navy, half-gray sweater i got from the last jil sander sample sale, and i finally didn't eat a big enough dinner last night to wear it out of the house.

i think i'm pretty into it. it would also go well with any potential in-betweener costume.

also, a head's up: today is the last day of the jil sander sample sale. everything was 90-95% off but dude selection was pretty slim. i'm assuming by now, most stuff is picked over but head over cuz shit was CHEAPPPPPPPPP. i only grabbed a couple ties and a t-shirt and some presents for my sisters this time around. crosby and howard sts. GOOOOOOOO.

i need a haircut

2010-10-28T10:32:00.003-04:00

an unseasonably warm fall is giving my autumn wardrobe blue balls. all i want to do is wear giant wooly sweaters and longjohns and look like an anti-technology manifesto-writing recluse but THIS 70 DEGREE WEATHER WILL NOT COOPERATE.

luckily, i have some impractical fall clothing that wears like summer clothing. like the aran sweater i chopped off the sleeves to:

cut-off sweater / thrift gap shirt / uniqlo jeans / sambas

don't i look like a faggot-y irish 50s street tough? no? well, ok.

lord chaos and master order

2010-10-26T17:46:00.004-04:00

i am usually NOT a fan of movado watches (they generally look so american-born asian striver), but these new bold chronographs are pretty fantastic.

the white is pretty much perfect, like something out of a terrence koh wet dream. and it's good, because any splooge would blend right in. the black is also nice because you know i would get the white dirty as fuck. they are kind of like those monochrome'd nixon watches but taken to an extreme-er.

i should totally get one of each, wear them on either wrist and go as the in-betweener for halloween:

and i would, if i weren't on a shopping moratorium. i'm actually giving myself a budget this year and saving myself for my most precious sales of the year: the IF basement sale, the barney's sale, and one special one that starts tomorrow...

COLLECT CALL FROM BEYOND

2010-10-25T09:56:00.002-04:00

it's halloween week so i mark this occasion with my favorite picture i ever took in the world, probably 8 years ago now, outside a bodega in astoria.

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

ps. i know i've posted this before, but no one read my blog then and it's still so good so.

serious advice

2010-10-21T15:37:00.004-04:00

hi guys!! just wanted to tell you that i have a new post up on videogum about terry richardson's disgusting photos of the cast of glee.

also, as a special bonus (punishment), here is another post i wrote for videogum that didn't have a chance to go up, so i'm posting it here. it's about mad men!

Mad Men has been lauded by its fans and the press since it premiered three seasons ago. And why not? It's FAB-U-LOUS! But lost in the laurels and admiration bestowed upon its totally consistent characterizations of real life people and its decided avoidance of the use of obtuse moodiness in lieu of actual substance has been a discussion of the fashion of the show! It's been really surprising the total and utter lack of attention paid to the costumes and art direction of the show by the popular press. It's like everyone's been so enraptured and dazzled by the substance of the show (those meaningful glances are so full of meaning!) that they haven't noticed its fantastic style!! But just because the magazines and weblogs have heretofore ignored and left the styling of the show for dead, like some discarded Jeffrey Campbell clog on a sale rack in a future Buffalo Exchange two years from now, doesn't mean we can't get inspiration from it now!

One of the hottest looks for Fall this season is dressing like a decade that is not the current decade, and Mad Men is the perfect place to start. Here's how to get that perfect groovy 60s look of two of the hippest characters on the show.

This stunning bombshell has curves in all the right places (YOU know the places I'm talking about, Ladies!) and her oversized cannonball into the swimming pool of fashion has sent trendspiring ripples from Milan to Mulan. Everyone from Prada to Louis Vuitton to Contempo Casuals has declared it the season of the curvy girl, saying, 'Forget all you know about what we've been telling you about what we wanted you to think was sexy for the last 20 years! Real women have curves (this season)! Girl power (for now)! Traveling pants!' You could say this buxom beauty was the start of it all. If you haven't guessed it already, our first inspiration for today is Carla, Don Draper's domestic assistant!

For Fall 2010 both Prada and Louis Vuitton sent out a great variety of thin models and slightly curvier thin models in 50s and 60s inspired dresses, just like the kind on Mad Men! This full-skirted Louis Vuitton dress would be perfect for Carla to wear to a swinging cocktail party if she hadn't been the one having to serve drinks.

But because she would definitely have been the one serving drinks, she (and we!) will just have to, as they say, make it work! Time to take the runway to the food services way!! Here's one way she (and you!) can get that Louis Vuitton Look for Less: this stunning black and white broadcloath dress gives the same feel as the Louis Vuitton dress and, on sale for $27.95, at a fraction of the price!

To accentuate the hips of the dress a la the LV version, just shop your closet -- your utility closet, that is! Simply stuff them with the rough one-ply toilet paper easily available in utility closets or maids' quarters! To further emphasize that tiny tiny waist of yours (because, remember, the only desirable kind of curvy is the curvy that has a small waist!), we recommend adding a great statement belt! Carla always dresses very practically, so this fantastic wide black pocketed waist belt would be perfect! It'll help define your waist and give you a chic place to put your extra sponges! Complete the look with a pop of color like these red rubber gloves from Crate & Barrel (a steal at $10.95!) and you'll be able to handle ANYTHING the day throws at you! Anything!

In addition, this dress can easily be taken from day to night by simply adding a jaunty hat and a smoky, sleep-deprived eye! We recommend this Chanel Enigma Eyeshadow Quad! At only $56, it'll give you that look of trying to support a family on two below minimum wage jobs while avoiding having to do the work and getting dish-pan hands! The hotel guests at your second job will never guess you worked all day at your first job in this dress only to clean up their messes now!

Our second inspirational look is at the center of the civil rights revolution that's at the heart of the new season. The show has come to a pivotal point in American history (or should we say "herstory," right, bell.hooks?) and this character's evolution more than any other's reflects this sea change. That's right, ladies, it's Anonymous Party-goer #5!

All you have to do to get her look is to get a militant black turtleneck (we love this cashmere one from J. Crew!) and serve as a plot device to open the eyes of a white person! Add some vintage dangling earrings from ebay or Etsy and, Voila!, you are ready to sit-right-in!

We hope these tips have been helpful for you to get these vital historical looks. And remember, you're only as beautiful as the fictional character you are trying to emulate through your clothing purchases! So pick someone good-looking!

xxx

damn you, andrew cunanan!!

2010-10-18T16:21:00.003-04:00

dries van noten spring 2009 windowpanes (love you forever)

prada spring 2011 neon art nouveau

vintage atelier versace by gianni versace

ugh, so feeling vintage neon versace right now. rent boys are always taking away our most precious gifts.

this is everything

2010-10-17T14:11:00.003-04:00

how had i never seen this OFFICIAL (?!) video for the remix of mary j. blige's 'everything'?! it is seriously INSANE.

from 1997!! it looks like the impetus for the visual aesthetics of everything from paper rad to kingdom to tim and eric. this shit should be in the permanent video collection of the new museum.

CSO: Miami

2010-10-14T17:36:00.005-04:00

i know you guys are used to seeing me in leather harnesses or see through shorts or jazz shoe platforms or other such ridiculousness, but every once in a while i have to pretend i'm a professional. and i have to say, i look fuckin' amazing in a suit.

ralph lauren black label suit / +J shirt / j.crew tie / johnny farah briefcase / jil sander shoes

you would trust me with your stock portfolio and your wet orifices, right?

ps. i got that suit for SUCH A DEAL at saks a couple years ago. something like 80% off. you could say i'm a MAXXINISTA (but please don't, because i would have to cut you open and vomit into your intestines).

the past is prolapse

2010-10-13T12:04:00.006-04:00

nothing says luxury like two puckered anuses/vaginas.

providing easy, tight, hot access to the contents of your bag. marchesa is PISSED that they didn't turn their dress into a bag. helmut lang is flipping over in his all black leather dungeon grave (he's not dead, he's just top/vers).

i know what i want for christmas

2010-10-12T09:31:00.003-04:00

i'm just going to add this flesh colored jock-strap with the word WOOF embroidered onto it to my amazon.com e-wishlist and you can decide which holiday you'd like to buy it for me for.

for your kindness:

league of their own

2010-10-07T17:11:00.003-04:00

hi guys! i have a guest blog post up at videogum.com and would really appreciate it if you enjoyed it! it's about getting that great ivy league style from facebook.com: the movie.

please enjoy!

also, as a partial rejoinder to part of my post, go look at streetetiquette's amazing black ivy project.

BRACE YOURSELF (ugh)

2010-10-04T10:50:00.004-04:00

i don't think it's a coincidence that i purchased a harness right when my rekindled obsession with vintage helmut lang has reached a peak. considering that his holster collection was a MAJOR fashion moment for me as a teenager, it's not that surprising. this ad (or an ad very similar to this one, i can't recall) figures VERY prominently in my teenage conception of what it was like to be a cool new yorker:

i know people like bliss lau and norwegian wood and zana have been doing fashion harnesses forever now, but i didn't really want it to be so "FASHION" you know what i mean? as i was telling chrissy, i didn't want my harness to ELEVATE a look; i want my harness to TAKE DOWN and DEBAUCH my look. that's why it had to be the real deal, the kind that someone who owns a t-shirt with a picture of a can of crisco on it might wear to the eagle. it's so much grosser that way.

anyways, this weekend i had a REALLY GOOD TIME figuring out ways to wear it. it makes things that i'm scared look too cool and of-the-moment look just odd enough that i don't feel like such a trend-whore wearing them. plus, it makes me stand-up straight.

like this tiny-collared comme des garcons oxford and tiny ll bean children's raincoat. i'd feel like such a williamsburg cliche if i wore this outfit without adornment, but adding the harness makes it feel slightly subversive and less straight-forward. like i'm a sadomasochistic exeter prefect who invites schoolmates onto my yacht and tricks them into coming into the below-deck dungeon.

it also helps take things that are way too big for me (like this surplus anorak) and give them a shape. as much as i hate the advice to "just belt it!", i actually appreciate it in this case.

finally, it just makes some things look fuckin' ridiculously awesome like this +J uniqlo wool felt blazer.

that looks fuckin' fantastic. i really don't care if some people think i look retarded. i think it's funny/great.

ps. i wore the first outfit to work on friday because i'm a retard? hahahahahaha.

good idea / bad idea

2010-10-01T14:04:00.004-04:00

i have to say, i was a little mixed on dries van noten this season. some of it i thought was amazing. i don't even mind when he goes minimal on the prints. it's refreshing enough to see him play with silhouettes when he does it right. but this season was just a little bi-polar. some looks were phenomenal, taking interesting ideas and translating them into wearable, beautiful clothes. other times, he seemed to take the same thought and carried it to a really ugly resting place.

it reminded me of that old animaniacs interstitial called "good idea, bad idea." some of you kids may be too young to remember this, but here is a refresher:

so i thought i'd do a good idea/bad idea for dries.

good idea: using transparent layers to give visual interest to a plain white shirt dress.

bad idea: using transparent layers to give visual interest to a plain white pair of boobs/outfit you'd wear to ibiza with a wicker cowboy hat.

good idea: using an oversized jacket to cut an elongated look.

bad idea: using an oversized jacket as a cover-up for your walk of shame after you've elongated a football player's cut penis.

the end.

another thing that happened this weekend

2010-09-30T14:18:00.008-04:00

so i bought a harness. not one of those really expensive ones you have to get fitted for but some cheap off-the-rack thing. i've been wanting to buy one for a while to wear over button down shirts and suit jackets or crew-neck sweater and khakis. you know how much i love a good high/low juxtaposition.

thrift tank / cut-off patrik ervell shorts / cut-rate leather harness / sambas

i didn't wear it to folsom because that'd be so EXPECTED. instead, i wore it to j.crew and anthropologie with my friends emma and lisa and was generally really pleased with myself.

my friends are starting to think i'm actually getting into leather and sadomasochism (judging from this, this, and this), but i really just like the aesthetic and think it's funny. i say this now, and later i will be wearing a leather mask with zippers over the eyes and mouth and pairing it with an APC blazer because i like the idea of it. HAHAHA. (i kinda actually do like the idea of that).

ps. my favorite s&m related black college marching band song of all time.

aka Verhoeven at 10,000 feet.

2010-09-29T20:35:00.002-04:00

i call this piece, "Videochatting with my little sister on a plane while she watches Showgirls and I am in hysterics (I and II)" Mixed Electronic Media, 2010.

hahahahahahahahahahaha.

i let my friend borrow my chaps

2010-09-27T10:09:00.000-04:00

this is the true story of me and my friend (let's call him devon) and how we went to folsom this weekend.

that last picture is my current favorite picture in the world.

ps. he is wearing the chaps that i bought at the thrift store a couple posts back.

america's next top ebay model

2010-09-21T18:29:00.004-04:00

angora underwear: so necessary (not necessary at all).

i can just imagine the photoshoot now. sneaker pimps playing in the background, photographer saying, "GIVE ME 'CRUEL INTENTIONS.' YES, YES. THAT'S PERFECT. now, now, give me ~~a fat~~ an iron curtain mail-order groom jake shears over the shoulder, hand on the hip. YES, THIS IS ECSTASY."

a little help?

2010-09-16T10:31:00.006-04:00

because i just can't figure out what this marchesa spring 2011 dress means? i mean...the visual code involves so many layers of meaning and nuance as to be almost impregnable.

can YOU figure it out?

here's the thing about marchesa. i actually really like their dresses despite myself (DON'T TELL ANYONE OR I WON'T LOOK SMART OR SERIOUS!). i mean, i know in my head that they're just a slightly more interesting badgley & mischka, but they ARE actually slightly more interesting. sure their origami pleating writ large has been done by galliano for ages, but it still makes a strong visual statement. that said, the above dress is NOT THAT SUBTLE, however i do appreciate that they made it cocktail length. SO MUCH MORE VERSATILE!

identical gay cousins (no, not the name of a jp cadinot movie)

2010-09-14T09:50:00.002-04:00

so y'all know how HUGE a fan of michael bastian i am (BARF), but his latest collection really changed my mind. i was all wrong about him. he's not an up-market abercrombie and fitch. he's a slightly WASP-y dsquared2.

and so i've decided to organize an interactive game for you guys! figure out which look is dsquared and which look is from michael bastian's fall 2011 show. the answers MAY surprise you!

click the pictures for answers!

however, there is one big difference. one of the collections is referred to as "Activewear (in the form of surf trunks and scuba jams), cashmere sweaters (embroidered as well as color-blocked), and classic suits both one-button and double-breasted: Somehow it all cohered. This was a collection perfectly tailored for the sun-bronzed, gym-readied, collar-flipped dandy." while the other is described as having "lost its identity, having moved from camp to campus and with Tuesday’s show just navigating, as if on autopilot, through all the current trends.” GUESS WHO'S WHO.

immensely practical

2010-09-13T18:58:00.004-04:00

god, i love fall. particularly because it's that perfect slice of time where i can wear the things that are too impractically warm for summer and too impractically cold for winter. case-in-point, the aran sweater i chopped the sleeves off of last winter to make into a "sweater t-shirt," obviously the most sane and reasonable thing to do to a huge, bulky sweater.

patrik ervell agrees (but for spring)!

i'm gonna wear the fuck out of this for the next month or so before it gets way too cold to wear it without a jacket. be prepared to be psyched for a limited time only.

throwing shapes

2010-09-11T12:18:00.006-04:00

in case you were worried that my taking jessica fletcher on vacation with me meant no more voguing vacation pictures (no one was worried), you can relax your idiot little head!

bootleg ebay river phoenix tank / thrift camp shorts / thrift hiking boots

i am still in the running towards becoming america's next top faggoty faggot. my vacation photos will be displayed in your heart next week as digital art.

thrift dementia

2010-09-09T08:54:00.002-04:00

when i was in grad school in the midwest, i used to go to the thrift store every week or so. i would drive the half hour or so out to the value village near the airport and just fill up my cart, try things on, and go. eventually i wore out on it and stopped really being interested in thrift hauls.

now that i've moved back to the city, i rarely ever get a chance to go to thrift stores so when i do go, i usually go balls out/balls deep. which may explain why when i went on vacation i bought shit that i normally wouldn't even think about. i've grouped these in categories:

americana:

normally i would give less than a shit about vintage americana (i dunno, something about me DOESN'T want to revere a time when black people were hosed down by the national guard, but maybe that's just me!), but this levi's cord jacket and land's end flannel fit so well i kind of couldn't resist. plus, it was awesome to get the original "inspiration" of the opening ceremony x levi's jacket for $5.

slouch/slob:

everyone knows it's return of the haute baja, so duh. and the slouchy aran sweater was hand knit and only $2! it's kinda moody belgian, no?

disney:

vintage gap polka dot shirt, and $1 sweatshirt i will probably sell to beacon's closet.

leather daddy?

ummm...i have absolutely no explanation for these chaps. i tried them on as a joke but they kinda grew on me? like my weiner grows when i make someone lick my boots?

TMI? JUST ENOUGH I.